by Robb House
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - SPARE BEDROOM - MORNING.
CU on an alarm clock. It's digital display reads "6:09". A
beat and it changes to "6:10". An alarm starts beeping
annoyingly. A hand reaches out and smacks it.
CU on TYLER on a futon on the floor as he sits up and rubs
his eyes. His hair can best be described as "bed head". He
glances back over his left shoulder to see the still sleeping
figure of MIKE on the bed behind him. He rolls his eyes and
gives a groan. He gets up.
CU on Mike still asleep and snoring lightly.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - MORNING.
Camera looking straight into the bathroom. Tyler is seen from
the back as he walks into the bathroom wearing a t-shirt and
boxers. He closes the door. Outside, we hear the sound of the
shower turning on.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - VI'S ROOM - MORNING.
Close up on an alarm clock displaying "6:14". It clicks on
"6:15" and starts to ring lightly.
VI reaches out, turns it off, and sits up. She is wearing an
extra large "Tweety Bird" nightshirt. She yawns, stretches,
and gets out of bed.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - MORNING.
Tyler pulls back the shower curtain having just finished
bathing. He shakes his head like a wet dog and reaches for a
towel.
CU on his wet feet as he steps out onto the bath mat.
Medium shot of Tyler, naked, as he towels off his back.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - MORNING.
Vi grabs the door knob and, without knocking, opens the door.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - MORNING.
Low angle shot from floor, Tyler's naked legs in foreground,
Vi opening the door in background.
Reaction shot of Vi jumping in surprise, eyes clearly darting
from Tyler's face to his lower areas, back up, and then back
down again.
Reaction shot of Tyler as he too jumps and pulls the towel in
front of himself.
VI
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - MORNING.
Vi quickly exits the bathroom. As she pulls the door shut, we
briefly see Tyler in the BG still standing there with the
towel in front of himself, a mortified look on his face.
Once the door is closed, Vi pauses for a second. Her look of
shock changes to a little smile. She continues down the hall,
her smile getting bigger.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - SPARE BEDROOM - MORNING.
Close up on another alarm clock on the bedside table. It's
display reads "6:19". It flips to "6:20" and begins to ring.
Without opening his eyes, Mike smacks the alarm off. He rolls
over, continuing to sleep.
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S DINER - MORNING.
FRANK and Vi are behind the counter. LON in sitting at the
counter with a cup of coffee, nose in a newspaper, a faded
bruise adorns his left eye, a prominent one, his right.
Vi tops off Lon's mug as Tyler enters from upstairs. He is
dressed in a smart-looking suit and tie and carrying a
briefcase. His normally disheveled hair is neatly combed.
Frank smiles at Tyler and whistles.
FRANK
Lookin' good, kiddo!
VI
(quietly)
I'll say.
Vi lets her eyes wander over Tyler. He flinches with
embarrassment and pulls his briefcase in front of his crotch.
TYLER
Um... Thanks.
FRANK
Breakfast?
TYLER
Can't. First day. Wanna get there
early.
(turning toward the door)
I'll see you guys later.
FRANK
Good luck, Ty.
Tyler looks back over his shoulder.
TYLER
Thanks, Frank!
Tyler notices Vi crane her neck to get a better look at him
as he walks away. He turns back toward the door, moving his
briefcase behind him to cover his butt as he makes a hasty
retreat.
As he exits, he passes TAMSIN who is entering. She is wearing
a black tank top with the word "Bitch" on it in silver
rhinestones. She gives him a friendly nod as they pass.
Tamsin makes her way to the counter and sits down beside Lon.
Frank looks at Tamsin's shirt and gives her a sly grin.
FRANK
And they say there's no truth left
in advertising.
Tamsin give Frank a wry smile followed by the two finger
salute.
TAMSIN
And good morning to you also.
They both give a light chuckle.
TAMSIN (CONT'D)
(looking around)
Where's the boy-wonder? I thought
we were going to break him in
properly today.
Lon looks up from his paper, noticing that Mike is not in
their company.
LON
Yes. Where is Goldilocks?
(chuckling slightly)
Primping in front of the mirror or
some such?
Tamsin's mouth gaps open, aghast at her brother's comment.
Frank cuts his eyes at Lon.
At that moment, Mike enters from the stairwell.
MIKE
(smoothly)
No primping required. I'm naturally
this pretty.
As Mike approaches the counter, Lon gives him a guilty look.
LON
(flustered)
I didn't mean... I was just...
Mike smiles at Lon and slaps him on the back causing Lon to
jump.
MIKE
Don't sweat it, Geeves. Takes more
than a little teasing to get me all
riled up.
Mike squints his eyes and leans in slightly, looking at Lon's
face.
MIKE (CONT'D)
(bringing his finger up to
his right eye)
You have a little something right
here.
Lon brings his hand up to his face brush away whatever it is
and then realizes that Mike is indicating his bruised eye.
Lon frowns, embarrassed.
Tamsin, Vi, and Frank laugh.
MIKE (CONT'D)
(to Lon; with a wink)
Don't screw with the master.
(beat; to all)
Subtlety is the key. Most people
would have gone with the obvious
raccoon joke.
Frank gives Mike a nod.
FRANK
(to Tamsin)
He's gonna fit right in.
Lon pops his paper back up to cover his face which is growing
increasingly red with embarrassment.
As the gang continues to chuckle, PAN left to one of the
diner's windows. A pair of black eyes peeks in from between
the curtains.
CUT TO:
EXT. FRANK'S DINER - DAY - CONTINUOUS.
Two figures are huddled close together. It's hard to make out
the details of their appearances because they are both
wearing trench coats and hats, looking very much like spies
from an old 70's TV show.
Seen from the back, one is peering in the window, the other
trying to look also. As FIGURE #2 shoves FIGURE #1, they both
turn to the side to face each other. They are unmistakably
demons (black skin with white faces and pointy chins)
attempting to disguise themselves.
FIGURE #1
Hey! Watch it!
FIGURE #2
Come, on Zorg! Move over! I want to
see!
ZORG
(sounding annoyed)
You don't need to see, Harold. I'm
the one with the plan.
HAROLD
What are we doing here again? I
wanna go to the circus.
Zorg looks to Harold with an irritated expression.
ZORG
If you weren't my brother...
Harold look innocently at Zorg. His elevator clearly doesn't
reach the top floor.
Zorg gives an exhaustive sigh.
ZORG (CONT'D)
These guys are offing demons all
around town. We get rid of them,
we'll be heroes. We can take over
the organization and rule this
town.
HAROLD
How we gonna do that? If they was
easy to kill, wouldn't the boss
already done it?
ZORG
That's where my plan comes in. We
don't try to take 'em all at once.
They're too strong as a group and I
ain't lookin' to commit suicide.
But they can't stay together all
the time. We wait until they're
alone...
Zorg turns back to the window, once again looking inside.
ZORG (CONT'D)
...and take 'em out one at a time.
Zorg's POV, looking at Frank who seems to be laughing at a
joke.
ZORG (CONT'D)
Starting with their leader.
Zorg brings his right hand up and flicks his wrist back. A
bony spear SHOOTS up from his wrist.
Through the window, on Frank's amused expression we:
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. MACROWARE - DAY.
ESTABLISHING SHOT of MacroWare's corporate headquarters. It
is a large modern-looking building with lots of windows. A
large cement sign displays the company's name.
TYLER (V.O.)
You would not believe this place!
CUT TO:
INT. MACROWARE - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS.
Tyler is talking on his cell phone.
TYLER
It's incredible! The R & D
department is huge!
CUT TO:
INT. UNDETERMINED LOCATION - CONTINUOUS.
CU of Mike on his cell phone. He chuckles at Tyler's
excitement.
MIKE
So... are you liking it there so
far? 'Cause it's really hard to
tell.
INTERCUT BETWEEN MIKE AND TYLER.
TYLER
(chuckle)
Yeah. And I'm not even done with
the grand tour yet. Anyway, I just
wanted to tell you my news.
Mike listens closely.
MIKE
Yeah?
TYLER
You know how I was supposed to be a
just a junior programmer?
Apparently, my resumé was so
impressive, they passed it on to
the Vice President.
(beat)
And I'm going to be her personal
assistant! I'll have my own office
and everything!
MIKE
Woo hoo! Check you out, Mr. Big
Shot. At this rate, you'll be
running that place by lunch.
TYLER
I can't believe it! It's a lot more
responsibility but it's a big step
up.
MIKE
And is there a significant pay
raise attached to this added
responsibility?
Tyler looks around, puts his other hand up to the phone and
whispers something.
Mike gets an stunned look on his face.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Whoa, dude! Have you ever
considered being a Sugar Daddy?
'Cause I might have a position
open. Hell! For that kind of dough,
many positions.
(beat)
Even that one I don't really like
to do, assuming I'm still limber
enough.
INT. MACROWARE - HALLWAY - DAY.
Tyler makes a disgusted face.
From behind Tyler, MITCH PETERSON exits the men's room and
approaches. Mitch is a mild-mannered, balding, unassuming man
in his late 30's. The khakis and Hawaiian shirt he wears make
Tyler look very over dressed.
TYLER
(seeing Mitch approaching)
Hey, gotta go. Talk to you later.
Tyler closes his phone and slips it into his pocket.
MITCH
Sharing the good news?
Tyler nods and gives him an embarrassed smile.
MITCH (CONT'D)
Girlfriend?
TYLER
(smirking)
He wishes.
MITCH
Sorry?
TYLER
(shaking his head)
Nothing. Just a friend.
Mitch smiles and gestures down the hallway.
MITCH
Shall we continue?
Tyler nods and the two continue with the tour.
CUT TO:
INT. COMMAND CENTRAL - CONTINUOUS.
As Mike closes his cell phone, the camera pulls back to
reveal that he is in Command Central.
MIKE
Sorry about that, I...
He looks to Frank and Lon who are standing in front of him,
both with arms cross, wearing identical stern expressions.
Mike gives them a sheepish smile.
MIKE (CONT'D)
Why don't I just turn this off.
He hits a button on his phone and slips it into his pocket.
Frank uncrosses his arms and continues.
FRANK
As I was saying... Since you'll be
spending a lot of time here in
Command Central, it's important
that you familiarize yourself with
the key aspects. For example...
Frank indicates a wall panel.
FRANK (CONT'D)
This is the biological interface
that connects our computer system
to the orb. It's what allows us to
access the sphere so we can track
hostiles as well as predict and
close down portals.
LON
(annoyed)
At least in theory.
(to Frank)
Doesn't work so well on those damn
random ones, does it? Which you
would know are becoming more
frequent, if you'd read my report.
We need to investigate--
Frank waves him off and moves him out of the way. Lon gives
Frank an offended look. Frank takes no notice.
Frank hits a button on the wall and the panel opens. Insides
is a glass canister full of liquid. Floating inside with
wires sticking out of it is a HUMAN BRAIN.
A shocked look crosses Mike's face.
FRANK
(nodding toward the brain)
We call him Bob.
LON
(brooding)
No we don't.
Mike cocks his eyebrow as we:
CUT TO:
INT. MACROWARE - HALLWAY - DAY.
Tyler is still walking with Mitch.
TYLER
This place is unbelievable, Mitch.
What's it like working with Mr.
Bates?
MITCH
Call him Jon. We're very informal
around here.
Tyler nods.
MITCH (CONT'D)
He's a great guy. Friendly. Treats
everyone with respect.
(beat)
In all the years I've been his
personal advisor, I don't think
I've heard him say a harsh word
about anyone.
TYLER
(nodding)
What about Corrine? What's she
like?
Mitch shakes his head.
MITCH
(smirking)
Oh no. Her you call "Ms. DuBois".
She's very...
Mitch screws up his face, trying to find the right words.
MITCH (CONT'D)
...high strung.
Tyler gives Mitch an unsure look. Mitch looks around quickly
and then leans in.
MITCH (CONT'D)
(quietly)
Okay. Here's the lowdown, but you
didn't here it from me.
(beat)
You know those loud, obnoxious
little dogs that bark and nip at
you feet and drive you crazy?
Tyler nods, looking confused.
MITCH (CONT'D)
Now imagine one of those about a
hundred and twenty pounds wearing a
five hundred dollar business suit
and heels.
Tyler's face goes white. Just then, Mitch stops and motions
to an open door.
MITCH (CONT'D)
(in a cheery voice)
Well! Here we are.
Mitch turns to Tyler who now looks very nervous.
MITCH (CONT'D)
Don't worry, kid. You'll do fine.
Mitch shakes Tyler's hand.
MITCH (CONT'D)
I'll check on you later.
He gives Tyler a wink and a friendly pat on the shoulder and
then turns and walks away.
Tyler stares at the door, takes a deep breath, exhales, and
walks through.
CUT TO:
INT. MACROWARE - CORRINE'S OUTER OFFICE - CONTINUOUS.
Tyler looks around. His jaw drops open.
The outer office, his office, is quite large. There is a big
comfortable looking couch, many potted plants, an aquarium,
and a desk with a state-of-the-art computer and phone system.
He walks over to the desk and looks down at the shiny new
name plate which reads "Tyler McGann - Executive Assistant".
He smiles proudly. He takes out his cell phone and snaps a
picture of it.
CORRINE (O.S.)
Yes Jon.
Tyler jumps, stuffs his phone back in his pocket, and turns
toward Corrine's voice.
Directly across the room from the door to the hall is the
door to Corrine's office. It's partially open. Through the
crack, Tyler sees CORRINE pacing back and forth, talking on
her headset.
CORRINE (CONT'D)
Those Special Project figures
should be on your desk tomorrow.
Tyler glances in her direction, not sure what to do.
Corrine notices him standing there, nods and holds up a
finger indicating that she will be with him shortly. She
continues talking.
CORRINE (CONT'D)
Right. See you then.
She taps her headset, picks up a stack of charts, turns and
walks in Tyler's direction. She extends her hand to him.
His eyes go wide as he recognizes her from their brief
encounter at the diner. He takes her hand and gives it a
polite shake.
CORRINE (CONT'D)
(pleasantly)
Hi. I'm Corrine DuBois. You must be
Tyler.
TYLER
(nodding)
Yes, Ms. DuBois I--
She abruptly cut him off.
CORRINE
Great!
She hands him the stack of charts.
CORRINE (CONT'D)
I need 15 copies of these ready for
my three o'clock presentation...
Corrine walks toward the outer door.
CORRINE (CONT'D)
... cancel my four o'clock, and
(motioning to the
aquarium)
get someone in here to clean out
that tank.
(beat)
And my schedule is on your desk.
Memorize it.
She stops at the door and turns to him smiling.
CORRINE (CONT'D)
Oh! And welcome to MacroWare.
Corrine turns to leave, pauses, and then turns back to Tyler,
a puzzled look on her face.
CORRINE (CONT'D)
Have we met before?
Tyler nervously attempts to seem oblivious.
TYLER
Um... No. No. I don't think so. I
just have one of those faces.
Corrine shrugs, turns back to the door and exits out into the
hallway. Tyler exhales loudly.
TYLER (CONT'D)
(to himself)
Town full of monsters. Boss from
Hell. Yep. Sounds about right.
He shakes his head and looks down at the charts in his hands.
He rolls eyes his as we:
CUT TO:
INT. COMMAND CENTRAL - TRAINING ROOM - DAY.
Mike, Tamsin and Vi stand in the middle of the room on a
training mat. It is a square room with assorted exercise
equipment. On the wall is a rack containing various training
weapons.
TAMSIN
While you're mainly going to be
here at Command Central, it's
important that you learn to defend
yourself just incase you're ever
needed in the field.
MIKE
(with a cocky grin)
I think we can skip this part,
ladies. I may not have super
strength or any of your fancy
schmancy special ops training, but
I can take care of myself.
(boastfully)
I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.
Tamsin smiles and looks to Vi, seemingly impressed.
TAMSIN
(to Vi)
Oh! Did you hear that, dear? Tae
Kwon Do!
Vi suddenly lunges forward. She GRABS Mike by the arm, FLIPS
him to the floor, and while still holding his arm, STEPS on
the side of his face, pressing him into the pad on the floor.
Tamsin leans in and she and Vi both look down at Mike on the
floor.
CU of Mike pressed into the padded floor by Vi's foot, a
stunned look on his face.
VI
(to Tamsin)
I'm sorry. Did he say Tae Kwon
"Don't"?
Vi and Tamsin look at each other and chuckle as we:
CUT TO:
INT. MACROWARE - CAFETERIA - DAY.
Tyler stands at the end of the line looking at the various
dishes. He stands out like a sore thumb in his business suit.
A man joins the line beside him. This is CHAD WARCHUCK. He is
mid-20's, disheveled hair, unshaven, wearing jeans and a t
shirt. Chad looks at the food in front of him. Turning
slightly, he notices Tyler. He looks him up and down, sizing
him up.
CHAD
(pointing at Tyler)
Newbie.
Tyler turns to Chad, realizing that he must be talking to
him.
TYLER
(with an embarrassed grin)
Is it that obvious?
CHAD
Let's just say we're not big with
the Windsor knots around here.
Tyler chuckles. Chad extends his hand. Tyler takes it.
CHAD (CONT'D)
Chad Warchuck, R & D. That's
Warchuck, not upchuck, not
woodchuck. Warchuck. But you can
call me Skippy.
TYLER
R & D? I went through there on the
tour. You guys frackin' rock!
Chad gets an excited look in his face.
CHAD
You a BSG fan?
TYLER
Oh, big time. Starbuck! Boomer!
CHAD
(lasciviously)
Number Six!
TYLER
(laughing)
You got me.
CHAD
(loudly; pointing at
Tyler)
New guy's got a toaster fetish!
They both laugh.
TYLER
Oh! I'm Tyler, by the way. Tyler
McGann.
CHAD
Pleasure to meet you Tyler McGann.
So tell me, what's your designation
here in the MacroWare Borg
collective?
TYLER
I'm Corrine DuBois' new personal
assistant.
The smile on Chad's face disappears in a flash.
CHAD
Oh.
(beat)
Nice talking to you, newbie. Have a
good life.
Chad turns to his left and begins to talk to the person
behind him in line.
On Tyler's confused look we:
CUT TO:
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Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.